Sunday, September 07, 2008
Scrawled on the front....
... of Connor Cake's Reading class book:
Written underneath in pink highlighter:
Mrs. Gibson is a Whore
Written underneath in pink highlighter:
Yeah, I know
Nice.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
It's simply not enough....
... to only consume the arsenic-laced kool-aid rhetoric you believe in.
I don't like conflict. I've been accused of being too nice. Of not having a strong opinion. Of not standing up for myself. But I'm at the point of primal scream.
I do have strong opinions. And I feel I'm an educated person. I read. I investigate. I listen - to BOTH sides even. I don't voice my opinion much, though. When I do, I sometimes suprise people. You probably wonder where I'm going with this. You know. Its 2 months to Nov 4. Its frikkin' politics that has me in a lather.
I'm almost 35 years old. I'm no longer an idealistic, naive 21 year old. I have formed some firm opinions and I'm not interested in changing them, for the most part. They aren't all that controversial or aborrhent. I guess some are left-leaning (reproductive rights, gay rights), others are somewhat right-leaning (taxes). I'm probably 50% in agreement with my liberal-kook friends/family/neighbors and about 50% in agreement with my conservative-nutjob friends/family (99% of my neighbors would fall in the liberal-kook category).
Glass is half full for me in both camps, right? Wrong. In the past week I have received a wrath of sh!t from all sides. Some of it has been downright disrespectful. Unbelievable. To quote Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles, these people "...have gone totally outer limits."
When I was 13 I formed an opinion - you might call it a personal credo - that I later learned is basically the Libertarian philosophy. With an emphasis on personal responsibility, I firmly believe that my rights end where your's begin and vice versa. For this reason (not to mention the fundamental point that we live in a FREE COUNTRY), I respect everyone else's right to believe that they want even if I think its an apesh!t way of thinking. I'm not going to vengefully argue with adults who have clearly formed solid personal opinions. And I ask for the same respect in return.
But I'm not getting it. I've had to resort to declaring a 10 foot zone of "no politics" around myself. Which of course I'm violating with this very blog rant. I'm all for friendly, spirited discourse about controversial topics. But in otherwise friendly conversations, I've been accused of having "appalling" beliefs, being ignorant, falling prey to agitprop and not having a good understanding of the way things are because I'm not "well traveled" or "educated beyond a liberal arts degree."
Well excuse the eff out of me!
To all my well meaning (but in my eyes SANCTIMONIOUS) liberal-kook and conservative-nutjob friends, family, and acquaintances... this is fair warning... I have taken the stance that politics are personal. I'm not going to ask you about your sex life, your colon health or your social security number and I'm not gonna tell you about mine. Let's keep it the same way with politics.
Until November 4th, if you violate this rule, I'm going to punch you in the head.
I don't like conflict. I've been accused of being too nice. Of not having a strong opinion. Of not standing up for myself. But I'm at the point of primal scream.
I do have strong opinions. And I feel I'm an educated person. I read. I investigate. I listen - to BOTH sides even. I don't voice my opinion much, though. When I do, I sometimes suprise people. You probably wonder where I'm going with this. You know. Its 2 months to Nov 4. Its frikkin' politics that has me in a lather.
I'm almost 35 years old. I'm no longer an idealistic, naive 21 year old. I have formed some firm opinions and I'm not interested in changing them, for the most part. They aren't all that controversial or aborrhent. I guess some are left-leaning (reproductive rights, gay rights), others are somewhat right-leaning (taxes). I'm probably 50% in agreement with my liberal-kook friends/family/neighbors and about 50% in agreement with my conservative-nutjob friends/family (99% of my neighbors would fall in the liberal-kook category).
Glass is half full for me in both camps, right? Wrong. In the past week I have received a wrath of sh!t from all sides. Some of it has been downright disrespectful. Unbelievable. To quote Molly Ringwald in Sixteen Candles, these people "...have gone totally outer limits."
When I was 13 I formed an opinion - you might call it a personal credo - that I later learned is basically the Libertarian philosophy. With an emphasis on personal responsibility, I firmly believe that my rights end where your's begin and vice versa. For this reason (not to mention the fundamental point that we live in a FREE COUNTRY), I respect everyone else's right to believe that they want even if I think its an apesh!t way of thinking. I'm not going to vengefully argue with adults who have clearly formed solid personal opinions. And I ask for the same respect in return.
But I'm not getting it. I've had to resort to declaring a 10 foot zone of "no politics" around myself. Which of course I'm violating with this very blog rant. I'm all for friendly, spirited discourse about controversial topics. But in otherwise friendly conversations, I've been accused of having "appalling" beliefs, being ignorant, falling prey to agitprop and not having a good understanding of the way things are because I'm not "well traveled" or "educated beyond a liberal arts degree."
Well excuse the eff out of me!
To all my well meaning (but in my eyes SANCTIMONIOUS) liberal-kook and conservative-nutjob friends, family, and acquaintances... this is fair warning... I have taken the stance that politics are personal. I'm not going to ask you about your sex life, your colon health or your social security number and I'm not gonna tell you about mine. Let's keep it the same way with politics.
Until November 4th, if you violate this rule, I'm going to punch you in the head.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Connor Cake is all growed up
Today was his first day in middle school. I stood at the door and watched him walk by himself (or rather with our neighbor who is in the 8th grade) and I tried not to cry. He said "bye mom!" and they marched down the sidewalk, past the hedge, out of sight and I nearly collapsed. I wanted so bad to run out to make sure he crossed the street carefully.
All day long I thought about him at his big new school and I worried. What if he gets lost? What if a big kid picks on him? What if the teachers are mean to him? What if I can't protect him from whatever is out there??
A year ago I was taking him to carpool, reminding him to zip his coat and eat his lunch. Three years ago he still held my hand crossing the street and hugged me at the bus stop. Six years ago he was a tiny little peanut climbing on the bus with a giant backpack and a pearly baby-tooth grin... too little to be out of my womb much less going to school!
Now I'm starting to feel dispensable. Oh, I know he still needs me. But it seems like I'm being humored or tolerated more often than not. I pack lunch. I nag about homework. I sign forms and write checks.
I'm not Mommy anymore... just Mom. I'm not the best peanut butter sandwich maker (Dad is). I'm not a great protector. I ask annoying questions. I embarrass him in front of his friends. But when he's hurt, I hurt even more. When he cries, I cry harder. When he's unloveable, I love him even more. I've known for 11 years that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. No one told me that now it gets even harder.
I know he loves me and I have a few more years before he flies away. Even though he got lost a few times, he had a good first day. And with a sigh a relief I can finally let the tears loose. But I'm still not sure if they are for him or for me.
All day long I thought about him at his big new school and I worried. What if he gets lost? What if a big kid picks on him? What if the teachers are mean to him? What if I can't protect him from whatever is out there??
A year ago I was taking him to carpool, reminding him to zip his coat and eat his lunch. Three years ago he still held my hand crossing the street and hugged me at the bus stop. Six years ago he was a tiny little peanut climbing on the bus with a giant backpack and a pearly baby-tooth grin... too little to be out of my womb much less going to school!
Now I'm starting to feel dispensable. Oh, I know he still needs me. But it seems like I'm being humored or tolerated more often than not. I pack lunch. I nag about homework. I sign forms and write checks.
I'm not Mommy anymore... just Mom. I'm not the best peanut butter sandwich maker (Dad is). I'm not a great protector. I ask annoying questions. I embarrass him in front of his friends. But when he's hurt, I hurt even more. When he cries, I cry harder. When he's unloveable, I love him even more. I've known for 11 years that being a mom is the hardest job in the world. No one told me that now it gets even harder.
I know he loves me and I have a few more years before he flies away. Even though he got lost a few times, he had a good first day. And with a sigh a relief I can finally let the tears loose. But I'm still not sure if they are for him or for me.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Thanks for the Advice, Frigidaire.
Have you seen that Frigidaire commercial? You know, the one where the super model-y looking housewives are offing their kitchen appliances? They throw a dishwasher off a cliff and strap a washing machine to the railroad tracks.
They also show a scene where a wrecking ball smashes a refrigerator. And there's a little caption that says "do not attempt". Hmm. Definitely some sage advice. Especially for those of us who keep a 40 foot crane, equipped with a wrecking ball, amongst our household demolition equipment. I mean I know I'm supposed to be careful with that stuff but thank goodness the fine folks at the appliance company have warned me off any dangerous behavior.
They also show a scene where a wrecking ball smashes a refrigerator. And there's a little caption that says "do not attempt". Hmm. Definitely some sage advice. Especially for those of us who keep a 40 foot crane, equipped with a wrecking ball, amongst our household demolition equipment. I mean I know I'm supposed to be careful with that stuff but thank goodness the fine folks at the appliance company have warned me off any dangerous behavior.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Cosmic Cosmos Cosmically Cosmical
I'm a tried and true skeptic. I frequently rant about the BS they publish in Time. And Popular Science. And The New Yorker. I tend to shoot first and ask questions later.
But my dirty little secret is that I read my horoscope with the fervor of a devout believer and look for any scrap... any SHRED... of truth. A few years back - probably as many as 7 or 8 years ago I guess - I started reading Free Will Astrology. In 2006 I started keeping a running tally of some of the interesting weekly columns. Occasionally they come true.
Last week, this was the memo:
Libra Horoscope for week of July 10, 2008
In July 1969, astronaut Buzz Aldrin was the second human to walk on the moon. That was the good news. The bad news was that as he carried out his heroic feat, he wet his pants. He testifies to the event in the documentary film In the Shadow of the Moon. I suspect you may soon have a comparable experience, Libra: experiencing a little boo-boo or no-no while you're riding high. Though it may make you feel vulnerable at the time, it's trivial in the big scheme of things and isn't likely to stick with you. How many people even know that Aldrin accidentally peed at his moment of glory?
I won't get into the details but yesterday this horoscope TOTALLY made sense. Like completely true. Not a stretch. Not wishful thinking. Like word for word. Riding high. Boo-boo occurred. Felt very vulnerable. But now its looking pretty trivial. I've been a believer for awhile but its always very cosmic when this happens.
But my dirty little secret is that I read my horoscope with the fervor of a devout believer and look for any scrap... any SHRED... of truth. A few years back - probably as many as 7 or 8 years ago I guess - I started reading Free Will Astrology. In 2006 I started keeping a running tally of some of the interesting weekly columns. Occasionally they come true.
Last week, this was the memo:
Libra Horoscope for week of July 10, 2008
In July 1969, astronaut Buzz Aldrin was the second human to walk on the moon. That was the good news. The bad news was that as he carried out his heroic feat, he wet his pants. He testifies to the event in the documentary film In the Shadow of the Moon. I suspect you may soon have a comparable experience, Libra: experiencing a little boo-boo or no-no while you're riding high. Though it may make you feel vulnerable at the time, it's trivial in the big scheme of things and isn't likely to stick with you. How many people even know that Aldrin accidentally peed at his moment of glory?
I won't get into the details but yesterday this horoscope TOTALLY made sense. Like completely true. Not a stretch. Not wishful thinking. Like word for word. Riding high. Boo-boo occurred. Felt very vulnerable. But now its looking pretty trivial. I've been a believer for awhile but its always very cosmic when this happens.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Vortex & Vinegar
So the student has become the master. The key to creating perfect Eggs Benedict is to make a whirlpool in the boiling water. When you plop the egg in it can't help but stay together. And then there's the vinegar added to the water.
Three cheers for my mom's friend Mario (for the ace egg vortex advice) and my friend Lori (vinegar is for more than Massengil, baby).
Isn't it odd how something so difficult can suddenly become so easy??? Its like learning how to tie your shoes or acing regulatory exams. :o)
No worries, friends. I will still plague you with insane musings on my adventures in eggs. I need to raise the bar now that I've created perfection.
Three cheers for my mom's friend Mario (for the ace egg vortex advice) and my friend Lori (vinegar is for more than Massengil, baby).
Isn't it odd how something so difficult can suddenly become so easy??? Its like learning how to tie your shoes or acing regulatory exams. :o)
No worries, friends. I will still plague you with insane musings on my adventures in eggs. I need to raise the bar now that I've created perfection.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Eggs o'my heart
Tonight was breakfast for dinner. No suprise, I made myself eggs benedict. I have officially mastered hollandaise sauce (although its not really rocket science). However, the egg poaching continues to elude me.
Things that haven't worked:
Ramekins in boiling water: technically not poaching unless you tip them and let some water in. This has actually been semi-sucessful and resulted in the best eggs although I can't get the cooking time right. They end up a little too done.
Microwave egg poacher: yuck. the yolk gets done before the white so there's no way to cook them properly. If you leave the yolk runny, the white is very questionable. The makers of this product should be ashamed of themselves, in no way does this thing poach eggs. Someone recently told me that microwaving eggs is a travesty.
Plastic wrap pouches: I intially thought this was brilliant (because of boiling bag omelets), then I thought about those warnings about how its dangerous to heat plastic wrap... but then I thought it won't kill me to try it once. It might have actually worked if I wasn't using crappy cheap plastic wrap. Unfortunately, the bottoms of the pouches melted and the yolks fell out resulting in a ridiculous mess.
Traditional boiling water: they sprawl and I've been prone to overcooking. I've read up on proper poaching techniques and I think the stockpot and gallon of water is way too much. I plan to try again with a saucepan and three inches of water. I also hear vinegar helps with the sprawl. One thing I want to know, however, regarding every cookbook's suggestion to use "eggs less than four days old"... how the heck am I supposed to know when the eggs that Food Lion is peddling came out of the chicken??? I realize that an expiry date way out in the future is a good indication of new eggs but they don't exactly tell you when the chicken pooped them out.
I think I need new kitchen gadgets. My neighbor suggested using a cookie cutter or something to corral the eggs while using the regular boiling water method. That's an idea altho I suspect that cookie cutters might float around too much. (do you think perhaps I talk about my love of eggs benedict way too much???) Isn't there some kind of heavier ring for eggs? I'm sure I've seen something like that.
I'm also interested in these and these. I already purchased a new whisk and a second tiny saucepan (as a double boiler for the hollandaise). Acquisition of additional poaching paraphenalia may send my family over the edge.
Things that haven't worked:
Ramekins in boiling water: technically not poaching unless you tip them and let some water in. This has actually been semi-sucessful and resulted in the best eggs although I can't get the cooking time right. They end up a little too done.
Microwave egg poacher: yuck. the yolk gets done before the white so there's no way to cook them properly. If you leave the yolk runny, the white is very questionable. The makers of this product should be ashamed of themselves, in no way does this thing poach eggs. Someone recently told me that microwaving eggs is a travesty.
Plastic wrap pouches: I intially thought this was brilliant (because of boiling bag omelets), then I thought about those warnings about how its dangerous to heat plastic wrap... but then I thought it won't kill me to try it once. It might have actually worked if I wasn't using crappy cheap plastic wrap. Unfortunately, the bottoms of the pouches melted and the yolks fell out resulting in a ridiculous mess.
Traditional boiling water: they sprawl and I've been prone to overcooking. I've read up on proper poaching techniques and I think the stockpot and gallon of water is way too much. I plan to try again with a saucepan and three inches of water. I also hear vinegar helps with the sprawl. One thing I want to know, however, regarding every cookbook's suggestion to use "eggs less than four days old"... how the heck am I supposed to know when the eggs that Food Lion is peddling came out of the chicken??? I realize that an expiry date way out in the future is a good indication of new eggs but they don't exactly tell you when the chicken pooped them out.
I think I need new kitchen gadgets. My neighbor suggested using a cookie cutter or something to corral the eggs while using the regular boiling water method. That's an idea altho I suspect that cookie cutters might float around too much. (do you think perhaps I talk about my love of eggs benedict way too much???) Isn't there some kind of heavier ring for eggs? I'm sure I've seen something like that.
I'm also interested in these and these. I already purchased a new whisk and a second tiny saucepan (as a double boiler for the hollandaise). Acquisition of additional poaching paraphenalia may send my family over the edge.
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