Wednesday, July 01, 2009
Hollywood Body Count is WAAAY Too Deep
I've been meaning to post for a few days now but I've been suffering from what may or may not be a slight case of swine flu... maybe like piglet flu. I don't know. I don't feel great, but I don't feel like I'm going to die or anything.
Before I'm accused of being dramatic on the swine flu tip... I hung out with some friends this weekend. Two of them came down with a raging case of confirmed flu - their doctor sent the test results to the CDC for review. The other two also became sick but are too lazy to go to the doctor and are feeling somewhat better anyway.
I was sure I was suffering from allergies - hay fever or rose fever (apparently rose fever is the midsummer version of hay fever. oddly enough, just like hay fever is not caused by hay but ragweed, rose fever is not caused by roses but grass pollen. who knew?). But a fever knocked me out Monday night - I actually contemplated climbing in the freezer case for a nap at a grocery store trip that had to be hastily aborted for obvious reasons. I started feeling marginally better Tues and a little better today... then I found out my friends had been sick as well.
So anyway, I was sad when David Carradine died. And I was rendered speechless last Thursday when I found out Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson were dead. (well, Ed McMahon too - I wasn't aware he had died until a few days later... I actually thought I'd heard he'd died a few months ago.) And then Sunday, I was knocked on my ass when I found out about Billy Mays. And now Karl Malden. Ok, Karl Malden was old as shit, but still... could his timing not have been worse?
I have a love/hate relationship with celebrities. My interest ranges from "who cares?" to mild admiration to utter digust. But its totally disturbing when a bunch of pretty high profile people buy the farm in a short period of time. So right now, while my health is a little sketchy, I'd like to implore Hollywood: take care of yourself, m'kay? Avoid air travel, eat your veg, take your vitamins, wear your helmet, lay off the drugs, pick a safe word for your weird sex games, and for goodness sakes don't make any deals with the devil!
Before I'm accused of being dramatic on the swine flu tip... I hung out with some friends this weekend. Two of them came down with a raging case of confirmed flu - their doctor sent the test results to the CDC for review. The other two also became sick but are too lazy to go to the doctor and are feeling somewhat better anyway.
I was sure I was suffering from allergies - hay fever or rose fever (apparently rose fever is the midsummer version of hay fever. oddly enough, just like hay fever is not caused by hay but ragweed, rose fever is not caused by roses but grass pollen. who knew?). But a fever knocked me out Monday night - I actually contemplated climbing in the freezer case for a nap at a grocery store trip that had to be hastily aborted for obvious reasons. I started feeling marginally better Tues and a little better today... then I found out my friends had been sick as well.
So anyway, I was sad when David Carradine died. And I was rendered speechless last Thursday when I found out Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson were dead. (well, Ed McMahon too - I wasn't aware he had died until a few days later... I actually thought I'd heard he'd died a few months ago.) And then Sunday, I was knocked on my ass when I found out about Billy Mays. And now Karl Malden. Ok, Karl Malden was old as shit, but still... could his timing not have been worse?
I have a love/hate relationship with celebrities. My interest ranges from "who cares?" to mild admiration to utter digust. But its totally disturbing when a bunch of pretty high profile people buy the farm in a short period of time. So right now, while my health is a little sketchy, I'd like to implore Hollywood: take care of yourself, m'kay? Avoid air travel, eat your veg, take your vitamins, wear your helmet, lay off the drugs, pick a safe word for your weird sex games, and for goodness sakes don't make any deals with the devil!
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
Inspiration
Its been awhile since I've been web surfing for pure pleasure. Tonight I spent some time on the Purl Soho blog - Purl Bee. They have some of the cutest projects there. I'm planning on making the Father's Day tie for Señor Cake... shhhh, don't tell him. He probably won't have occasion to wear it any time soon but during his brother's wedding I realized all his ties are either utterly out-dated or just plain heinous. I think its always good to have a natty tie handmade by your brilliant wife on hand for special events.
While at the Purl Bee I found Mimi Kirschner's work. Her dolls are so wonderful and she has even more neat stuff at her Etsy shop.
I think I may have posted about her before, but I continue to be fascinated by Lori Marsha. I'm pleased to see her Etsy shop is back up.
Just looking at these inspiring links tonight reminds me that I feel way behind in my life. Where does time go? Why does it go by so fast? How can I make more? :)
While at the Purl Bee I found Mimi Kirschner's work. Her dolls are so wonderful and she has even more neat stuff at her Etsy shop.
I think I may have posted about her before, but I continue to be fascinated by Lori Marsha. I'm pleased to see her Etsy shop is back up.
Just looking at these inspiring links tonight reminds me that I feel way behind in my life. Where does time go? Why does it go by so fast? How can I make more? :)
Thursday, May 28, 2009
I Never Know the Ending
I've been accused of having a very active imagination... a flair for the dramatic. I don't consider that an insult, though. I've always thought it just makes me more interesting. Even if I'm primarily the one who thinks so. hah!
So I've embarked down the path of "writing" dozens of times. From the story I wrote in 2nd grade ("Cheerful Chicken and Crazy Claw") to several unfinished novels to my present occupation. I guess I've pretty much been writing my entire life with varying levels of success.
The formal stuff I write at my job is very deadline driven and almost always leads to a tidy, finished product. Same thing with freelance writing projects. All these things that fill my "writing portfolio" are pretty dull but they are not without a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
But I've never been able to bring the personal projects to fruition. I've stuggled with the reason for this. The obvious answer is that work and freelance projects lead to money which is an obvious motivator. However, I recently began an online class on fiction writing and I think I've found the answer.
It probably all stems from lack of passion. But ultimately, I never know how the story ends. Its as simple as that. I can come up with some whiz-bang conversation starters and I can get up to my armpits in scene and details but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I seriously never know what happens in the end.
I wonder if its a flaw in my imagination? Or like a hiccup in my creativity? I don't know if I'll figure it out or not but I have gathered some new clues to a more structured creative process.
I originally started this blog (or rather its predecessor) as a place to post my writing projects, try stuff out, etc. 220+ posts later I guess its been more of a portal for rants, random and infrequent musings and more rants. My plan is to actually start fulfilling my original intent.
Stephanie is often known for whims and lack of follow through. But I have a good feeling about this.
So I've embarked down the path of "writing" dozens of times. From the story I wrote in 2nd grade ("Cheerful Chicken and Crazy Claw") to several unfinished novels to my present occupation. I guess I've pretty much been writing my entire life with varying levels of success.
The formal stuff I write at my job is very deadline driven and almost always leads to a tidy, finished product. Same thing with freelance writing projects. All these things that fill my "writing portfolio" are pretty dull but they are not without a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.
But I've never been able to bring the personal projects to fruition. I've stuggled with the reason for this. The obvious answer is that work and freelance projects lead to money which is an obvious motivator. However, I recently began an online class on fiction writing and I think I've found the answer.
It probably all stems from lack of passion. But ultimately, I never know how the story ends. Its as simple as that. I can come up with some whiz-bang conversation starters and I can get up to my armpits in scene and details but I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I seriously never know what happens in the end.
I wonder if its a flaw in my imagination? Or like a hiccup in my creativity? I don't know if I'll figure it out or not but I have gathered some new clues to a more structured creative process.
I originally started this blog (or rather its predecessor) as a place to post my writing projects, try stuff out, etc. 220+ posts later I guess its been more of a portal for rants, random and infrequent musings and more rants. My plan is to actually start fulfilling my original intent.
Stephanie is often known for whims and lack of follow through. But I have a good feeling about this.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Foolitude
Today I experienced two April Fool's jokes. One on a professional blog I read regularly... it was funny and trivial and delightful. The other was from my friend who totally punked me with a random text message. It was great because he is completely odd and the thing he told me (something along the lines of "I'm moving to France...") was perfectly believable. He waited most of the day following my response to reveal that it was a joke which was all the better and made me laugh and kick myself for gullibility.
Both of these things remind me of the gleefulness of childhood. The naive cluelessness with which I encountered every day. I lived in my own imagination most of the time. I didn't have any inkling of my own mortality or my own... human-ness. In my mind my teeth really made a "ting!" noise when the sun glinted off my smile. And sinister piano music accompanied me when I snuck down the hall.
I'm not sure when I lost all that benign wonderment. But I think I want it back. For realz.
Both of these things remind me of the gleefulness of childhood. The naive cluelessness with which I encountered every day. I lived in my own imagination most of the time. I didn't have any inkling of my own mortality or my own... human-ness. In my mind my teeth really made a "ting!" noise when the sun glinted off my smile. And sinister piano music accompanied me when I snuck down the hall.
I'm not sure when I lost all that benign wonderment. But I think I want it back. For realz.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Some sage advice from a presentation guru
I have a lot of respect for Garr Reynolds. He's a cool cat regarding communication and he wrote a groovy book on better presentation design using the much maligned PPT and KeyNote. I read his blog, Presentation Zen, religiously because, not only are his presentations inspiring, but he always has links to other great content.
Since the new year he's been posting about jazz and Zen and lessons on creativity regarding jazz and Zen. My interest in jazz is pretty much limited to jazz- and bossanova-inspired electronica but I've always been interested in Zen asthetics.
Today he posted the greatest list: Twenty-one things I've learned from jazz and Zen. My love of lists no doubt contributes to my bias but so many things in this list speak to me. You can read Garr's list yourself but a couple that mean a lot to me include:
(#4) Good intentions are key. Sincerity is king, and yet...
There is nothing more repellant to me than people who don't have good intentions. Certainly the road to hell is paved with them but I firmly believe you can excuse many wrongs when someone has good intentions.
(#5) It's not about you.
Humans are inherently selfish. I accept this of myself without pause. But recognizing that the world doesn't revolve around me as an individual is something that I've worked on for a very long time. As an only child I've weathered the insult of "spoiled brat" more times than I care to remember. So I guess I always try extra hard not to be so self centered that I fail to recognize that my importance is no greater than anyone else's.
(#20) Always be learning. Always be learning. Always be learning.
Naturally, my chosen vocation is in education and professional development. But the bigger picture in this is that no matter how old or how smart you are, you can always learn something. It is a humbling experience to recognize that other people have knowledge and experiences which we can benefits from. And I also think the day there is nothing left to learn is the day there is no point in living anymore.
(#21) Curiosity is your greatest gift, nurture it (in yourself and in others)
Curious people are interesting people. Curious people get smarter - book smart and street smart - and curiosity gives you a reason to keep learning... its an important feature of #20.
Since the new year he's been posting about jazz and Zen and lessons on creativity regarding jazz and Zen. My interest in jazz is pretty much limited to jazz- and bossanova-inspired electronica but I've always been interested in Zen asthetics.
Today he posted the greatest list: Twenty-one things I've learned from jazz and Zen. My love of lists no doubt contributes to my bias but so many things in this list speak to me. You can read Garr's list yourself but a couple that mean a lot to me include:
(#4) Good intentions are key. Sincerity is king, and yet...
There is nothing more repellant to me than people who don't have good intentions. Certainly the road to hell is paved with them but I firmly believe you can excuse many wrongs when someone has good intentions.
(#5) It's not about you.
Humans are inherently selfish. I accept this of myself without pause. But recognizing that the world doesn't revolve around me as an individual is something that I've worked on for a very long time. As an only child I've weathered the insult of "spoiled brat" more times than I care to remember. So I guess I always try extra hard not to be so self centered that I fail to recognize that my importance is no greater than anyone else's.
(#20) Always be learning. Always be learning. Always be learning.
Naturally, my chosen vocation is in education and professional development. But the bigger picture in this is that no matter how old or how smart you are, you can always learn something. It is a humbling experience to recognize that other people have knowledge and experiences which we can benefits from. And I also think the day there is nothing left to learn is the day there is no point in living anymore.
(#21) Curiosity is your greatest gift, nurture it (in yourself and in others)
Curious people are interesting people. Curious people get smarter - book smart and street smart - and curiosity gives you a reason to keep learning... its an important feature of #20.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
2008 Fastforward
Less than five hours left in 2008. Its amazing to me how fast the year has gone by. I have a number of theories about my perception of time but none of them help the weeks go by any slower so I guess its better to just live with it.
While I generally live life with a healthy dose of cynicism and a glass-half-empty mentality, I can't complain much about 2008. There were a few moments of sadness, which I have already blogged about and won't spend time on today. Good things did happen in 2008, not the least of which was reconnecting with lots of old friends.
I'm looking forward to a prosperous 2009. Happy, healthy and all that jazz. Tonight I'm thinking of my family and friends and remaining thankful for all that I have and all that I have accomplished so far.
My Free Will horoscope for the first week of '09 is interesting:
"God calls you to the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet," wrote Frederick Buechner. You're free to ignore that call, of course. You can pretend that you don't really know what brings you deep gladness, and you can act as if the world's deep hunger is of no concern to you. But if you hope to be proud of the life you have lived when, many years from now, you shed your mortal coil, I advise you to at least experiment with using Buechner's formula as a working hypothesis. The coming year will be an excellent time to do just that.
Interesting, huh? In an hour I'm heading off to my neighbor's cocktail party. Mucho merriment.
Happy New Year to all!
While I generally live life with a healthy dose of cynicism and a glass-half-empty mentality, I can't complain much about 2008. There were a few moments of sadness, which I have already blogged about and won't spend time on today. Good things did happen in 2008, not the least of which was reconnecting with lots of old friends.
I'm looking forward to a prosperous 2009. Happy, healthy and all that jazz. Tonight I'm thinking of my family and friends and remaining thankful for all that I have and all that I have accomplished so far.
My Free Will horoscope for the first week of '09 is interesting:
"God calls you to the place where your deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet," wrote Frederick Buechner. You're free to ignore that call, of course. You can pretend that you don't really know what brings you deep gladness, and you can act as if the world's deep hunger is of no concern to you. But if you hope to be proud of the life you have lived when, many years from now, you shed your mortal coil, I advise you to at least experiment with using Buechner's formula as a working hypothesis. The coming year will be an excellent time to do just that.
Interesting, huh? In an hour I'm heading off to my neighbor's cocktail party. Mucho merriment.
Happy New Year to all!
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The shoe falls
After a few weeks of wackiness and high-falootin' mania, the downward spiral has arrived. It happens every year at this time. I read back through all my November posts for the past 4 years and its like clockwork.
I left F'burg this morning feeling numb. Sorry for myself. Just plain sorry. I knew the mood was settling when I ran into someone I knew from high school at Sheetz when I stopped to get gas last night and couldn't even manage a civil conversation. I prophesized that it was coming and with a heavy sigh, I acknowledge that it is officially here. Its a shame because I had a nice weekend with my mother and it shouldn't end this way.
So here you go, operating instructions for Stephanie Cake's Crappy Holiday Season. Read on and then leave me alone until Christmas:
The spiral includes depression, social anxiety and self pity. I will feel like a lot of people are out to get me. And the rest have forsaken me. My sense of humor will be seriously compromised . The response from everyone around me will range from pity to annoyance and either way it will irritate the piss out of me.
I don't know why I feel this way. Its not your fault. It's no one's fault. Its just me. Its chemical and behavioral. Asking me about it makes me angry. This will pass. It always does. If you've known me for any respectable length of time, you know I'm moody as hell. Several times a year I become unbearable. I can't even stand myself. Your cheerful requests for me to smile are not going to help
I will cry at inappropriate times for no good reason at all. I will feel the need to apologize for every horrible injustice I have ever committed. Yet at the same time I will feel an overwhelming sense of entitlement from everyone I know. I will be intense but not interested in very much.
I will drive places and not remember how I got there. I will walk into rooms and forget why I came. Everything around me will be less impressive... although occasionally something will catch my eye and I will remember the world is vibrant and its speeding along without me and that will cause me to break down.
I should be medicated but I can't do that anymore. Trust me. It is best for me to just wallow in my pitiful, miserable mood and hopefully roll out the end sooner than later. I will write about my feelings and if you've learned anything from the past you will move along. Commentary about my dark moods is generally not helpful. Writing helps me unload and is not intended to entertain you.
I will create a schedule and stick to it. Its not possible to function robotically and perfunctorily without one. My manic, self indulgent impatience is gone for now. So I won't have very high expectations from you but I will need to keep marching on my own and I ask that you respect that.
There is one month left in 2008. Its been a difficult year but overall not bad for me personally. I fully intend to greet the new year with a smile. I'll be like Frodo after he tossed the ring into the depths of Mordor. Utterly spent, but at last unburdened.
I left F'burg this morning feeling numb. Sorry for myself. Just plain sorry. I knew the mood was settling when I ran into someone I knew from high school at Sheetz when I stopped to get gas last night and couldn't even manage a civil conversation. I prophesized that it was coming and with a heavy sigh, I acknowledge that it is officially here. Its a shame because I had a nice weekend with my mother and it shouldn't end this way.
So here you go, operating instructions for Stephanie Cake's Crappy Holiday Season. Read on and then leave me alone until Christmas:
The spiral includes depression, social anxiety and self pity. I will feel like a lot of people are out to get me. And the rest have forsaken me. My sense of humor will be seriously compromised . The response from everyone around me will range from pity to annoyance and either way it will irritate the piss out of me.
I don't know why I feel this way. Its not your fault. It's no one's fault. Its just me. Its chemical and behavioral. Asking me about it makes me angry. This will pass. It always does. If you've known me for any respectable length of time, you know I'm moody as hell. Several times a year I become unbearable. I can't even stand myself. Your cheerful requests for me to smile are not going to help
I will cry at inappropriate times for no good reason at all. I will feel the need to apologize for every horrible injustice I have ever committed. Yet at the same time I will feel an overwhelming sense of entitlement from everyone I know. I will be intense but not interested in very much.
I will drive places and not remember how I got there. I will walk into rooms and forget why I came. Everything around me will be less impressive... although occasionally something will catch my eye and I will remember the world is vibrant and its speeding along without me and that will cause me to break down.
I should be medicated but I can't do that anymore. Trust me. It is best for me to just wallow in my pitiful, miserable mood and hopefully roll out the end sooner than later. I will write about my feelings and if you've learned anything from the past you will move along. Commentary about my dark moods is generally not helpful. Writing helps me unload and is not intended to entertain you.
I will create a schedule and stick to it. Its not possible to function robotically and perfunctorily without one. My manic, self indulgent impatience is gone for now. So I won't have very high expectations from you but I will need to keep marching on my own and I ask that you respect that.
There is one month left in 2008. Its been a difficult year but overall not bad for me personally. I fully intend to greet the new year with a smile. I'll be like Frodo after he tossed the ring into the depths of Mordor. Utterly spent, but at last unburdened.
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